We’ve listed some effective tips so you can help your child become more independent. These are attitudes that encourage children’s autonomy from an early age. Check them out!
Educating children has always been a great challenge. In an age of so much information and constant change, it is important that they are prepared for whatever comes. By prioritizing children’s autonomy, by stimulating their independency and responsibilities, there is a good chance that they will become more confident and successful adults. American journalist, mother, and educator Esther Wojcicki teaches 5 ways to help your child become more independent. Be sure to check them out.
How to Stimulate Children’s Autonomy
Children’s autonomy is essential for children to develop and learn to have the independence to make their own decisions and exercise full citizenship in adult life. Check out 5 effective ways to encourage autonomy in everyday life.
1. Trust
Fear is a defense mechanism of our body, which shows us how safe it is to perform an action. However, fear is also a limiting factor that can lead to a total lack of action.
Children grow up with excessive fear when they have overprotective parents, and this kind of care is highly detrimental to their development.
It is necessary to encourage children to do things for themselves, building in them strong self-esteem and self-confidence. You can encourage children’s autonomy in the following ways:
- Give children space to express themselves;
- Encourage them to do things without your help;
- Let them decide for themselves;
- Praise their willingness to get things done.
2. Respect
Children tend to have the craziest ideas. However, you have to sit down and listen to what they have to say. This is the number one way to show respect.
First you listen to their ideas and then if they don’t make sense and if they are a little crazy, you can help them reconstruct those ideas so that maybe the core of that idea can be hit.
3. Independence
Esther Wojcicki, in her book How to Raise Successful People, brings the following sentence: “don’t do anything for your children that they can do for themselves”. This is the main tip when it comes to children’s autonomy.
Many parents today have access to resources that their parents didn’t have and think, “I’m going to do everything I can for my child”. With this, they unintentionally end up interfering in their children’s emotional and personal development, training them to just receive.
And when those children go to school, they feel lost because they don’t have that person there who does everything for them. Likewise, the consequences extend into adulthood, with a lack of attitude and self-confidence, and excessive fear.
4. Collaboration
Collaborating, rather than dictating what to do, is essential. Try to help your child when needed, starting with a meal such as breakfast. There may be options and you say, “I have X, Y, and Z. What do you choose to eat?” That way, you give him the opportunity to exercise his power of choice and you do things together, rather than just him following your instructions.
In the case of a trip, if your child is 8 years old or older, he can pack his own bag. Overcome the temptation to pack everything for him and make him follow your rules. He is able. What if he forgets important things? Well, that’s how he will learn to deal with unforeseen circumstances in life. And nothing prevents you from helping him think of a solution, like: “what do you do when you didn’t bring your underwear?”
5. Kindness
Children often make mistakes, as they are still not very conscious about things. You need to help them and make it clear that there is always a way for them to do things again, the right way. In that sense, kindness involves listening to them, empathizing with them, having compassion, and that can make a big difference in their lives.
In the case of young children, who are always asking why things, try to be patient and explain things to them, always telling the truth. Remember that asking “why” is a sign of intelligence, and you can even praise him for it, saying, “my child is asking questions because he is very smart”.
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Also, read our article on food selectivity in children.
